The posters read:
“How can a girl rape a boy?”
- Nearly everyone I tried to tell for the first four years after it happened.
- My then-fiance in response to the panic attack I was having, caused by seeing my rapist for the first time since the incident had occurred eight years previous.
Because it is a shitty thing to forget that rape occurs, regardless of gender.
I hate when people say that guys “can’t get raped”, by a girl or boy. it’s stupid, people need to understand that rape is rape, and that you should actually help and not say crap like “man up”
But what if he did “man up”? What if he did what that phrase referred to and mustered up the force of will necessary to put himself passed a bad or difficult experience? I’d be proud of this guy. I’d give that man a hug and a gift certificate to the Red Lobster. ‘cause that would be really great. Just as great if you reversed the sexes! Maybe it’s not the best choice of words “man up”, since that has some unnecessary implications about what the sexes should be able to do, but it certainly isn’t a bad concept. Maybe we all need to “man up”?
I’m not certain
but I think you have missed the point
Nope, I know the message this guy’s getting at, I’m just making a different point. Too often I get the idea these tragedies are handled with an “it’s okay to cry” kind of philosophy. But “man up” isn’t such a bad piece of advice. Now, obviously you’re going to need to say more than just “man up” to a person. I feel like it’s better to bolster a person’s confidence than to mope with them.
yeah see I sort of understand that what you’re saying has the basis of a good idea, that it’s good to be strong and confident especially in emotionally difficult times. but comfort and support should always come first, for as long as the victim needs them.
to use a situation less horrific and traumatic than rape, if I got mauled by, say, a large angry bear, how long do you think it would be before the acceptable reaction to me having a panic attack upon seeing that bear stopped being “it’s ok to cry” and started being “stop moping and man up”?
Fewer than 8 years. *edit: although, it would never be “stop moping and man up.” It’d be a short, pseudo-inspirational speech about the mustering up the will to overcome fear. **additional edit: why don’t you get on oovoo?
that is markedly less insulting. but if I can’t convey that inspirational speeches don’t strike me as the best course of action here, I don’t really have anything to add.
I was, about two hours ago. I got off to work on schoolwork. Then Tumblr happened.
Yeah, I totally get that - if Pokemon taught me anything it’s that the most encouraging words are positive ones. I’m just saying, you can say “man up” in a positive tone and context. And it’s a damn good thing to do! I’ll have a lot of respect for anyone I meet that has overcome some great tragedy in their life. More than I’d have for someone who lets one awful night control them, at least. I think that sort of strength should be encouraged, is all.
Yes, well, Tumblr should probably stop happening then. Here’s some positively worded encouragement: You’ve finished all but a couple weeks of your first semester of college, but there’s less and less room for us to slack off and babble at each other on Tumblr. I don’t know about you, but for me the work is getting pretty damn serious. At this point, we really aught to man up and get shit done. (see what I mean?)
but when you say that you make it seem like people who are able to overcome tragedy are more respectable/better than those who can’t, and I really can’t see that message benefit anyone.
But that’s the best part! Everyone is one of those people - some just haven’t realized it yet! Force of will seems difficult to muster, but it’s all in your head. Your head is the one place no one else’s word can truly come first. First and foremost that is *your* domain. Anyone who realizes that, and who can take some time to let it sink in, can be one of those people. But it can be a hard notion to take to heart, ‘specially if the only solutions others offer you are to get mad or get sad. The trouble is, kicking and screaming aren’t all that productive. I’m not even sure they’re that satisfying. I’d rather have someone in my life encouraging me to man up than one who tries to throw me a pity party.
Can we just agree that “man up” is probably the worst thing possible to say fir that situation?
Im all for overcoming bad things but the force of will can only mustered by the victim, not the supporter. If it does devolve into moping then inspirational speeches would be welcome, but there is a difference between inspiring and insensitive.
I also just despise the term “man up”. It is an insult hiding under the guise of being advice without actually giving anything useful to the reciever. Its uninspiring to say the least.
Emmy, if you got mauled by a bear and after two weeks, in an effort to rid you of your bearphobia i got everyone around you to say bear puns 24/7 or told you that more people die from harpy eagle attacks every year (not true because BEAR) so just fucking man (or bear) up - feel free to punch me multiple times in the face.
RANDOM rant over time to go to class
Yeah, actually, “bear up” is kind of better. Bears take no one’s shit.
But that’s not my point. Obviously simply *telling* someone that they’re not being strong enough isn’t going to help anyone. That’s not what I’ve been saying. I’m just saying it seems better to try to bolster people’s confidence than to eke out the remainder of your life while dwelling on a bad experience.